Just Another 'Dear FanFiction'
by justlovely.bro
Summary: I know this idea isn't original, but the words inside are! My pathetic attempt at humor. If you laugh, please notify me so I can have proof that miracles exist. Rated T, eventual multi-ship. Question time!
1. Jade, Who Doesn't Like Tori

**Okay, I know that there are definitely other fics like this, so please don't even say 'OMG BRO YOU ARE LIEK SUCH A COPYCAT BRO. LIEK BRO…..bro.'**

**I know. So just to keep people from getting mad, I shall put two separate disclaimers.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

**Disclaimer: This concept isn't original, but these words are.**

**Basically, I will only write a chapter when I'm in a very sarcastic mood and I have the time. Also, I mean no offense to anyone or their stories or the ships of Victorious.**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

I am writing to tell you that most of you are on my list, which is a cold dark place where you do not want to be.

Because I. DO. NOT. LIKE. TORI VEGA.

Okay?

I like Beck. Despite the fact that we broke up. Which, you don't have to keep reminding me about, unless you particularly like seeing me in my rare times of obvious pain.

Secondly, I like guys. Not girls. Or Vega.

Got it?

Good.

So, basically, you have two options:

Stop making me fall in love with little miss cheekbones. I would rather go into space without a helmet.

I grab my favorite pair of scissors (they're black. They were a gift.), sharpen them, and do some seriously horrific damage to your facial region.

Also, even though I may be hateful, I am not a cruel heartless bitch who has nothing better to do than terrorize people.

I'm just a cruel person who enjoys terrorizing people.

Who also hates ducks….and the color yellow. And many other things.

With Love (And sarcasm),

Jade West (Who Doesn't Love Tori)

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**Okay. The first few chapters will be generally short letters from the gang, and Trina and Sikowitz. But after that I'll be having them answer your questions :D**

**So, don't send in any questions yet, but please review.**

**Because if I don't get reviews, I don't update because I am sad. I'm not trying to blackmail you guys into reviewing, I just won't think you like it enough for me to update if you don't review.**

**Also, I really have nothing against Jori. I just think that's what Jade would say. I mean, I read Jori stories sometimes, so nothing personal.**

**So…..yeah…**

**With Love (And sarcasm),**

**(Who Hopes You Like This Story)**

**P.S- I'm going to go eat soup now.**


	2. Cat, Who Is Confused

**Hey! I know I **_**just **_**posted the first chapter but I thought I'd go ahead and put up the second one. Well, after I write it, which I'm going to do...NOW.**

**Double Disclaimer: I own neither Victorious nor the general idea for this fic.**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

Hi! I'm Cat!

I like giraffes and red velvet cupcakes. And Robbie….shhh!  
I have a stuffed giraffe named Mr. Longneck, and-

Oooh! My brother got stuck in our fishtank again! Be right back, kay kay?

…

I'm back!

So, I was reading some stuff on here, and lots of people seem to think that I have some dark past or that there's something wrong with me.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

You're confusing me!

I'm sure you're all really nice people. I like nice people! And Jade. She can be nice.

Kind of.

Ooh, my brother made me red velvet cupcakes! Last time he did that Jade said I shouldn't eat them, but I did and they made me really happy.

And then I started flying! Vroom!

I'm going to go eat some now, kay kay?

LOVE,

Cat (Who Likes Giraffes….and Robbie)

* * *

**Ahaha, I had so much fun trying to get in Cat's head :)**

**So, after this one I'll probably write them in this order:**

**Beck, Tori, Robbie, Andre, Trina, Sikowitz, and maybe a small one for Sinjin or Cat's brother XD**

**And then after that the characters will be taking your questions!**

**Oh, this is so fun, and a whole lot easier to write because the chapters are kind of short.**

**Please review, because if you don't I'll be as sad as Cat without candy.**

**XD JK, but I would really appreciate some reviews.**

**Thanks to the reviews from last chapter :D And I hope to have the next chapter up tomorrow, maybe even later tonight if I get bored ;3**


	3. Beck, Who Can Make His Own Decisions

**Okay! Quickly moving on to chapter three :)**

**I have all of the chapters for the main-character's personal letters typed up, and I'm ready to start typing up their answers to your questions!**

**So please, leave a question for the characters in a review; more details at the bottom.**

**Double Disclaimer: I have not acquired the show Victorious since typing the disclaimer last night, nor do I own the original concept of this story.**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

Hey. It's me, Beck.

Let's get straight to it.

I'm not dating Jade. I'm not dating Tori. I'm not dating Cat. And I'm _definitely _not dating Trina.

So please stop trying to hook me up with my friends.

I'm a single man who lives under his own roof.

Okay, yes, Jade was my first love, and I'll never forget that.

And fine, maybe, considering I did try to kiss her during the PMA's, I do have a little crush on Tori.

And yeah, Cat is pretty cool.

But Trina?

Really?

Stop trying to make my decisions for me.

Also, please stop criticizing me for not going after Jade. It's not that Jade isn't great, because she is. But she isn't great FOR ME. I don't know what kind of guy she needs, and maybe I still have a little bit of feelings left over.

But, I can make my own decisions. And my decision is going to end up being the best for both of us.

Who knows, maybe somehow we'll end up together. But for now it's easier for me to see myself being in the front row at her wedding, rather than at the altar.

Whether it's Jade, Tori, Cat, Trina, or some other girl, whoever it is I end up asking out next, just let me decide for myself.

Sincerely,

Beck (Who Can Make His Own Decisions)

P.S.- I would like to thank you though, for emphasizing my great hair. It would be kind of comical really, if it weren't true.

* * *

**Okay! I'll be uploading more character letters later today and tomorrow and stuff :3**

**But, to be able to write anymore chapters after that, I need your help!**

**So, please leave a question or comment in a review for the Victorious Characters. (Including Tori, Jade, Beck, Robbie, Andre, Cat, Sikowitz, Lane, Sinjin, Rex, Danny, and Cat's mysterious brother).**

**Here are some examples:**

**Dear Jade,**

**Why do you hate ducks?**

**Love, YOURPENNAMEHERE**

**Or**

**Dear Cat and Robbie,**

**Just get together already.**

**Sincerely, YOURPENNAMEHERE.**

**Just, any question or comment for any of the characters.**

**But, I'll need at least four or five questions for the first question/comment chapter, so please start sending now!**

**Thanks :)**


	4. Tori, Who Has Almost Normal Cheekbones

**Two updates in a few hours? I'm on a roll! XD JK, I just already have the personal character letters all typed, and the faster I put them up the faster I get to have them answer your questions! Make sense?**

**I hope!**

**Anyways, here's Tori's letter!**

**Double Disclaimer: Bro, I told you once. I told you twice. I told you three times: I DON'T OWN IT.**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Let me start off by saying you all seem like good people. Maybe a little strange, but good.

But.

You guys get the wrong idea about me. I'm not into self-harm! I don't cut myself, throw up all my food, or anything like that! I mean yes, I do have my insecurities, which brings me to another thing:

I am _not _perfect. Nor do I think I am. I know that I have my flaws like every other teenage girl out there! But that still doesn't make me a bulimic cutter.

Also, I am not mean. I do not try to steal the spotlight, or Jade's boyfriend! I don't like to be mean, and even if she won't admit it, Jade and I are friends!

Lastly, please stop making me fall in love with my guy friends. I could never do that to Jade, and Andre is my best friend, that would be weird. And Robbie? The guy has a puppet, and a crush on Cat. Plus my female friends. I mean, Jade's pretty and all, but _really? _

Ooh, one more thing, before I go: not every description of me has to include my extremely high cheekbones! There's more to me than cheekbone, thank you very much!

Yours Truly,

Tori (Who Has Only Slightly Elevated Cheekbones)

* * *

**Okay! I have a couple of questions submitted so far, and I really need a few more to even type the first question/comment chapter!**

**Thanks to all who reviewed, you'll hear from me again soon!**

**Also, to answer an anonymous reviewer, I will eventually make chapters where some of the characters co-write letters. For example, if some were to ask Beck and Tori:**

**Do you guys like eachother?**

**I would either have them write seperate letters, or if you requested it in a review, they could co-write their reply.**

**That's about all!**


	5. Robbie, Who Is Glowing, and Rex

Dear Fanfiction,

HOW DO YOU KNOW I LIKE CAT?

And what's this I read about Rex not being real?

While I'm rather creeped out, I'm also very offended.

I am a very cool guy. I am not nerdy, and I only made out with the cut-outs of Cat once! _Once._

_Not that I have cutouts of Cat, or anything _stupid _like that..._

Anyways, I do have to give you guys props for all of the Cabbie stories. I mean…it's not like I….like Cat….or anything. But they're just really…..cool.

And stuff.

Also, male-makeup is a very natural thing! You should just see my skin, it glows! It's better than what I heard Trina does…..mayonnaise? Really? She should try the male make-up. Except, you know, for girls.

Rex says he wants to say something….

Love and Puppies,

Robbie (Who Is Glowing)

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

I am o-ffended. Because y'all won't believe the most awesome character on Victorious is real. I mean, my NorthRidge ladies know what's up.

Word To Yo Momma,

Rex (Really, Rob? Love and Puppies?)

* * *

**Ahaha, I liked writing this one too. Maybe it's just how unique every character is that makes me love Victorious so much.**

**I still need you guys to send in questions D:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Love and Puppies,**

**Word to your mother.**


	6. Andre, Who May or May Not Be Wonky

**I've been on a bit of a writing kick lately.**

**I'm in way over my head with how many stories I have. Luckily, this one is rather easy to type up.**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

A'ight, a'ight, I admit to liking Jade in the past. You know, I got all wonky, but I sang my song and it's all good now.

So please stop writing stories about this Jandre thing. You're making me question myself! I don't want to be wonky!

My grandma's wonky.

The other day I went to her house to find her hiding under her bed. I don't know how she managed to squeeze under there. When I asked her, she just said,

"ANDRE! There's a monster in the sink!"

And I'm thinking_, 'She's insane'_.

Turns out she actually turned on the garbage disposal when she meant to turn on the light.

Don't ask me how I got her out from under the bed.

But anyways, I don't like Jade….

Anymore. And Tori's my best friend! And Cat's cute and all, but….

AND, don't even get me started on Beck, Robbie and Trina. I'm into the ladies! Not guys and psychopaths.

Later,

Andre (Who May or May Not Be Wonky)

* * *

**Okay, so now, as far as the letters go, I just have to post the one for Trina and Sikowitz. Since they're both not major characters, they're sharing a chapter. **

**Then I'll post question/comment chapter one!**

**Fish is a color.**

**Bye :D**


	7. The Crazies of Victorious

**Last personal letter chapter! :D**

**If you think of any other personal letters you want me to do, like Danny or Cat's Brother or Andre's Grandma, just tell me in a review.**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

Hello. It's Trina Vega, and I've taken time out of my very busy schedule to talk to you guys. Your stories are _hilarious!_

I mean really, funniest thing I've ever read in my life; all this stuff about me not having any talent. Really, you guys are great. You should all be comedians!

Anyways, I also found it just crazy that you'd put me with Robbie in some of your stories! I know you're just joking, but I'm too awesome for him! Poor Robbie. I'm so out of his league.

I'm just a little concerned as to why there aren't more fics about me and Beck. He's gorgeous, I'm amazing, talented, pretty, funny, talented, pretty, talented….

Wait, what….?

Oh yeah, Beck and I.

Maybe you'll write more about us when we get married.

Love Always,

Trina (Who Will Be Famous) (Who Loves Beck) (Who is Amazing, Talented, Pretty, Funny, and Talented. And Pretty.)

P.S: And Talented.

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

I see you all think I'm crazy!

The visions are real, I swear it!

After sifting through some of your profiles, I see none of you feature coconuts in your interests. They really are incredible…..in….credible…..

Unlike Trina.

Maybe if you drink some of their milk, you will be inspired to write more stories involving yours truly and coconuts.

Drink Coconuts and Prosper,

Sikowitz (Who Isn't Writing This From Prison)

* * *

**OKAY! :D Now, we go on to the question comment/chapters. I'll probably make like, thirty of those, so send in your questions as we go!**

**Drink Coconuts and Prosper,**

**Thanks!**


	8. Q&A One

**Hey! It's finally question/comment time and I'm all excited XD Thank you guys for your questions/comments!**

**NOTE: I realize that everyone here may want different shippings. At first, I'm going to give every ship a chance, but as the story progresses, the less popular ones won't be as prominent.**

**Does that work for you guys?**

**Anyways, DOUBLE DISCLAIMER BRO: I doubly disclaim Victorious and the concept of this story.**

* * *

_Dear Cat and Beck,  
How would you describe your relationship with each other? Good friends, like brother and sister, or something else?  
Curious,  
Luteana  
P.S. You two are awesome. Just thought I should say that._

Dear Luteana,

Hi, hi! Beck and I were going to write separate letters, but said she'd kill us if we didn't write it together. :(

I think we're all three of those! Becky here is one of my best friends, but also kind of like my brother….but not as troubled….And stuff.

I'm going to go see Mr. Longneck now, kay kay?

Okay, now it's me, Beck. After reading what Cat wrote, I kind of agree. She's like my kid sister, but also one of my amazing and….pretty…best friends….

That was awkward.

I'm going to go now,

Beck, and Previously Cat

P.S: You're awesome too!

* * *

_Dear Beck and Tori,  
Why don't you two just kiss?! I mean, yeah Beck dated Jade and stuff but THAT IS THE PAST!  
This is the present! Why can't you guys move on?!  
It's like Tori's saying 'Beck, I don't want you to move on. Sorry.'  
Come on!  
Love, SuperboyRules  
But call me Supey :)_

Dear Supey,

First of all, the author of this story keeps telling us that we have to co-write our letters….or else. How messed up is that?

Anyways, Beck and I are sitting here on my sofa.

It's not like I don't want him to move on. Because I…..uhm….

Anyways….

I just don't want Jade to murder me in my sleep!

Uhm….yeah. I can't really answer you that well considering Beck here is reading over my shoulder….

O_e

Hey, it's Beck.

I TRIED to kiss her. But she turned me away, because of Jade.

Before this gets rather awkward, I'm going to go drink some pink lemonade….

Does it come from pink lemons?

Sincerely,

Beck and Tori

* * *

_Dear Tori,_

_Why are you always staring at Jade's boobs?  
Sincerely, _

_Catoradeluv72_

Dear Catoradeluv72,

WHAT?

Ahehehehe…uhm…

I'm not….?

Er….

Anyways….

Bye now.

Awkwardly,

Tori

* * *

**Hey! Thanks for all of the questions/comments! This was sooo fun to write! Keep sending them in!**

**Review and Jade won't murder you in your sleep.**

**JK!**

…**.I think.**

**:3**


	9. Q&A Two :D

**I am so glad all of you seemed to like the first Question/Comment chapter. I've been suuuuper busy, but I'm trying to find time :)**

**Anyways, thanks so much for all the reviews! It means a lot, and I love reading your questions/comments XD**

**Anyways, since I ditched the disclaimer, having said it a good eight or so times or something, on with the questions!  
**

* * *

_Dear Cat and Robbie,_

How did each of you feel when Robbie sang 'I Think You're Swell' to Cat? Does Cat even know that the song was for her? Oops, I just gave it away! You lovebirds have some fun now ;)

Jess

Dear Jess,

I don't understand….

That song was for Cat? But my name's Cat…

Is there another girl named Cat?

I'm confused, so Robbie's gonna talk to you now…

Hey.

Am I that bad at dropping hints, guys?

….SHUT UP REX.

Sorry, he's sitting here making rude comments. RUDE!

Do you guys think I should tell her…?

That may be the only way she'd get it….but, I'm a little afraid.

Nervously,

Robbie (And Previously Cat)

* * *

_Dear Beck,  
How do you keep your hair looking so good?  
Love,  
IAmVictorious10_

Dear IAmVictorious10,

It's an art, really. ;)

Me telling you that would be like Mr. Krabs telling Plankton the Secret Krabby Patty Formula.

Enough said.

Thanks,

Beck

* * *

_Beck... Do you still have feelings for Jade? Cause if you do... Boy you in troubbblleee!_

_- Shelby :)_  
_P.S. Beck, you are soooo hot! Lol! :$_

Dear Shelby,

Honestly, Jade will always be my first love. She'll always have a little piece of my heart, however sappy that sounds. It's true. I'll always love Jade. But I'm not _in love _with her anymore….make sense?

And when you say I'm 'in troubbblleee', how exactly is that?

Please explain….

Oh, and thank you! I would say the same….but I have no clue what you look like.

So, bye….

-Beck

* * *

_You know, Tori,_

_All of your exes are a lot like Jade; dark hair, pale skin, semi-sweet personality; so I guess my question is, why do you keep going for Jade-like when the real thing is right behind you staring at your a**?_

_-Anon_

Oh, goodness, guys.

Wow. I'm getting a lot of questions like this…hehe…uhm…

OH LOOK. IN THE SKY….

IT'S A….BIRD?

YEAH, A BIRD.

SO now I have to leave.

Darn.

-Tori

* * *

**Thank you for your questions and comments!**

**I almost didn't put that one in there, but I thought, eh, why not?**

**Please send more!**

**/**

_**Dear Tori, Beck, Andre, Jade, Robbie, and Cat,**_

_**What should the readers win for reviewing?**_

**Cat: CUPCAKES**

**Tori: Uhm….OH LOOK A BIRD**

**Beck: A picture of me….**

**Andre: Beck, man, that is so conceited.**

**Beck: ;D**

**Andre: Maybe some….ketchup….**

**Jade: OH, so you DO have a ketchup problem!**

**Andre: Uhm….OH LOOK A BIRD**

**Tori: MY LINE!**

**Jade: They should win nothing. Or scissors.**

**Robbie: I agree with Cat**

**Jade: Of course you do**

**BYE NOW :D**


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